Grieving a loss

Well, last night we said good bye to my best friend's dog, Vardaman. Oh, how it hurts to talk about. As a veterinarian, I know that we did the very best thing for him; he was tired, and even though he would have continued to fight for her if she asked it of him, she knew it wasn't fair to do so. He lived 15 1/2 years, a long time for a Border Collie, but even that wasn't long enough for her to have him in her life. I sure understand, and my heart aches for her in her loss. I believe I did all I could as her veterinarian these past few days (well, years, really.) Now I have the challenge of knowing how to be there for her as a friend.

There are some excellent online resources for people grieving the loss of a beloved animal family member, and I thought I'd share them with you. Be warned; don't visit these sights without a bucket load of kleenex at hand!

I have always liked a simple site: www.petloss.com , a gentle, compassionate website for pet lovers who are grieving over the death or an illness of a pet. There you will find personal support, thoughtful advice, The Monday Pet Loss Candle Ceremony, Tribute Pages, healing poetry like The Rainbow Bridge and much more.

For those who may need the help of a trained counselor in pet loss and bereavement, www.aplb.org is a very good site to visit. Here's some info about them:

The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement is a nonprofit association of concerned volunteers who are experienced and knowledgeable in the tender subject of pet death. Our chatrooms are free and available to anyone bereaving for a beloved pet. The APLB is a compassionate nonprofit organization of trained volunteers, dedicated to helping people during this very special kind of bereavement. We are constantly improving all our services, and making them freely available on the Internet. The APLB is unique, and the only organization in the world doing all this.

www.pet-loss.net Here you will find 10 tips for coping with the intense emotions and the difficult decisions one faces upon the loss of a pet

Pet Loss Grief Counselor HotLines This is a link of numerous, usually veterinary student-staffed "hot-lines" anyone can call for a compassionate, understanding ear. Days and times these lines are available are listed, and there are no charges for these services.

Don't be embarrassed by your emotions or think your grief is "over-the -top" or not normal. If your pet was lucky enough to really be a member of the family, you are, unfortunately, going to feel that loss as you would any other family member, and sometimes even more. I think that might be because we have the added responsibility of taking complete care of these pets throughout their lifetime, and this can often make us feel like we have failed in some way when the inevitable happens.

You will find many other websites, good and bad, if you search "pet loss" online. Beware during this vulnerable time of scams and unethical practices. And remember that grieving includes celebrating the blessings of a good life. Smile and remember those good times.

Peace,

DrReneigh